TW: suicidal ideation, cutting, depression
photo credit: Tim Zänkert
22
Today, I turn 22.
I never thought I would make it, to be honest with you.
But I'm here now, and things are bittersweet.
The things I've wanted to achieve, are still staring at me from the back burner.
But what can I do?
I've done what I could.
I'd keep pushing myself to do better, to be better, but it'd be much too ironic to cripple myself even further during a period in which I'm supposed to be recovering from a burnout caused precisely from pushing myself too hard.
It's a toxic cycle.
I don't know why to do.
I cut myself yesterday.
And the day before that.
But today, I vow to do something different.
The rubber band or ice method, maybe go for a run.
"Anything that won't leave scars."
is what my therapist says.
I turn 22 today.
And I guess I'm feeling okay.
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